Oppikoppi 2015: The annual terribly-fun-let’s-fall-down-a-mountain-festival called Oppikoppi has announced the theme for the 2015 addition!
Mrs. Fox: Why did you lie to me?
Mr. Fox: Because I’m a wild animal.
Last year’s amazing theme was “ODYSSEY”, with a line up from the gods themselves to match. This year, Oppikoppi has come up with (well, I’d say) a perfect theme of childhood mischief that embraces the transient feeling of utter freedom that Oppikoppi instils in us every year – “FANTASTIC MR. VOS VOS”.
If you, like me, were lucky enough to grow up with the glorious books by the remarkable Roald Dahl (preferably read to you by your mother while sitting on a couch on a rainy day) you would already have spotted the similarity between this year’s theme and one of Dahl’s creations, The Fantastic Mr. Fox. Fantastic Mr. Vos Vos is set to be our very own South African version of this amazing story about one crafty little fox who defies all odds, rounds up a ragtag team of heroes and shows some greedy chicken farmers what a real sly fox is all about.
Let’s take a moment and remember all the wonderful characters that the original Fantastic Mr Fox had to offer us and think of how easily they compare to the migratory herds of the Oppikoppi faithful:
– Mr Foxy Fox: The former bird-thieving fox that succumbed to the world of journalism and caring for his family.
– Oppikoppi Mr Foxy Fox: The ex-Nile Crocodile trash-punk band member turned accountant who relives his glory days at Koppi and fucks out completely for 3 days.
– Felicity Fox: The smoking-hot, yet very caring Fox Mama, who supports her husband’s wayward behaviour.
– Oppikoppi Felicity Fox: HOT ASS Milf who either just got divorced and wants to PARTY HARD, or is there secretly spying on her illustrious 16 year-old daughter (perhaps taking after mommy, eh?)
– Ash Fox: The Teenager Fox, going through a kak emotional time. You know; let’s wear black all day, every day and talk about our problems CONSTANTLY.
– Oppikoppi Ash Fox: EMO KIDS – who somehow never lose their eyeliner at Koppi (How is that even possible? I lose my shoes on a daily basis).
– Rat (Mr Fox’s archenemy) – a meeeaannnn rat who spends his days in the Secret Cider Cellar ‘protecting the Cider’.
–Oppikoppi Rat: That one friend that tags along every year, never leaves the campsite, drinks everyone’s alcohol and then gets aggressive when all the booze is finished. WHY DUDE, WHY?
– Clive Badger (Mr. Fox’s lawyer): Even though he is identified as a European badger, he has an American accent.
– Oppikoppi Clive the Badger: You’re always going find that one twit at Koppi, who wants to talk ‘Business’ or ‘Money‘ in the middle of a DJ set at the Red Bull stage while you’re trying to jol your tits off. Also he tries to pick up chicks by not wearing a shirt and painting neon circles around his nipples.
-Kristofferson Silverfox: a silver fox who is The SHIT
– Oppikoppi Kristofferson Silverfox: The guy or girl who is in their early thirties, doing something ridiculously cool for a living, hair always done, shoes always clean, elegantly drunk , never loses their shit, always seems to have it together – OH NO, WAIT. THIS MUST BE AT SOME FOOD MARKET, THIS NEVER HAPPENS AT OPPIKOPPI. EVER.
Well folks, there you have the whole shabangdang. Whilst writing Fantastic Mr Fox, Roald Dahl must have done character research at Oppikoppi. The book is essentially about survival of the fittest and Oppikoppi is actually the same thing: survival of the fittest, drunkest, happiest and highest – or just having the best kind of people around you…
Oppikoppi jou mooi ding, I can’t wait.
Ps Given that Vos, de Vos and Vossie are some pretty common Afrikaans surnames or even names, we would like to inform Mr Vos from Vossies Hardware Store in Bokkraal that this festival is not themed around the fact that he likes wearing a multi-coloured mohawk wig at Koppi every year. Although in true Oppikoppi tradition, even the Mr. Vos’s of the festival are appreciated.